Friday, March 12, 2010


 I feel agitated.


Anxious to the inth degree.

I am home.

As I’ve confessed, Time is not my friend.

Its artificial tyranny over our lives exhausts and disgusts me,

because it is manmade.

 (and temporary…

thank God.)

There is just not enough of it for some of us.

If we let it, every day can seem like the day before final exams.

There are too many things on my “To Do” list, and not enough spaces on the calendar in which to fill them.

Not enough blanks.

The urgency tempts me to agitation and a feeling of total inadequacy.  There is no way I can complete the tasks, meet the needs, achieve the goals.

So I do…


The mere contemplation of the overwhelming demands causes a state of paralysis.

I get in bed and start writing this.


The next morning...

I vow that I will achieve peace, no matter what.

I refuse to get out of bed until it arrives.

I try every artificial means I know.

Nothing works.

I pray, briefly… with my eye on the clock.  (“I’ll give you this much time in which to calm me down…then I’m on my own.”)

He accepts the challenge graciously and gracefully. Not because He has to, but because He can.

And because He wants to.

He is the consummate gentleman.

Peace comes suddenly, like a flood of liquid love.

I rest in it.

Sometimes doing nothing is the best thing you can do.


“What does man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun?" (Ecclesiastes 2:22) 


  1. Thank you for your transparency, vulnerablity, and genuine love for Jesus. I follow your blog daily (though you don't post daily, I am always checking!). Your words challenge me, encourage me, and help to keep my heart aligned and my eyes focused upward. Thank you for your sacrifice of love in posting this blog.
    From: A fellow sojourner in Phoenix.

  2. I do that! The "Oh my gosh there is so much to do I'll never get all of it done so I won't do anything but walk around in circles" thing.

    Glad you found a center :)

  3. I feel aggravated too that there is not enough time in the day to do all that I want. I want to paint, cook, read books, watch movies, hang out with family and my friends, etc., but by the time I get home from work I feel like I have a three to four hour window of opportunity to get everything I want to get done. So frustrating! :)
    If only there were more hours in the day.

  4. I hear you. I know that place.
    Yesterday I heard a very touching interview with Desmond Tutu. He said, "But more and more communion with God is about trying to grow, in just being there. Like when you sit in front of a fire in winter — you are just there in front of the fire," he says. "You don't have to be smart or anything. The fire warms you."
    I love this. It's enough to just sit in front of the warmth of the fire even if we think we don't have anything left to give to that moment. God warms us.

  5. I just wanted to let you know .... I love to read your blog. I look forward to it every week. My life is filled with hardships right now and just reading your blogs, as well as Katherine's, has been a huge light in my life. I hadn't posted anything yet on your blog, though I have been reading it faithfully, because I honestly didn't think my little comments were that important, or that you would be interested in reading them. I have had cancer and now have a chronic health condition that brings me pain everyday ... I'm about Katherine's age too, so having to go through this all has been pretty devastating. But the Lord is good. I live in Los Angeles, really near Culver City, and hope to run into you and Katherine one day. Blessings, Marielle

  6. I love to know that He is the Ancient of Days, the Potentate of time, that our times are in His hands, that he can actually give us minutes when we are late to work, and that he asks us to give minutes to others who need them in our otherwise very busy times. God bless you today, Kim, for giving minutes to those He has put in your path.



Thank you so much for taking the time to write.

It helps to know we're not alone.